I haven't been here also, actually. Now, I decided to switch on the medieval PC machine that's in my village and check AP. Making a comment takes about twenty minutes on average plus the time spent by wondering if the raucous noise means the PC is going to blow up along with me and my bed (disadvantages of a village life)

Yeah, it's so so when you live alone. Besides it makes you independant, it's also very comfortable for you're the master of the house and you decide what to do, when and how. Pretty addictive, I have to say:)) But when you spent a day with too many babbling guys, to lock in your silent flat is the sweetest thing ever. Especially for those suffering from submarine sickness.

How large your city is? There really isn't any possibility how to get out from there? You should escape even for a few hours. My friend lives in our capital city and it takes about two hours to get away. But our capital city, ehm, isn't one of those very big ones. I'm afraid that doesn't mean it's not ugly and dirty.

Stars...Sometimes, when I can see too many of them, it makes me feel small and needless but I can't stop staring anyway. At least this you can do, I'm glad to know that. And maybe, if you're really high, you can't hear so much of the city noise there. Soothing silence is more and more valued nowadays.

Well, take care Kouryuu and I believe you'll find your spark in the impassivity and greyness of this world. It's still here, but it's harder to find it.

PS: Right now it has started raining and the rain is pretty heavy. I'm sure we'll lose electricity. Very exciting.

The question is: What could we do to change it? Any ideas? I recommend one thing to make you feel at least a bit better, and that's simply walking. It works with me, perhaps it can work with you as well. It doesn't matter where are you going, however places with less of people are definitely the best. Oh, and being in sunshine of course. (As I am right now. The sun is low, shining right into my eyes so I barely see something) It's good to find out what exactly is the main source of your depression and try to change something there. When you create things with your hands, painting or something, it's very relaxing. You can give it a try. Who knows, maybe you'll find yourself talented in some way.

Living alone? Huh, I think you would like it. It's not funny every time, I have hard moments here, but it helps you to be independent, it shows you if you're able to handle all the necessary things a flat needs and IMO, it makes an adult out of you.

I lived with three more people plus one changeable and I hated the chaos sometimes. I'm a bit personal when I say my mum was a very party type after her divorce and absolute unknown guys used to occupy our house, laughing and singing to early morning hours. Being alone was relief, after all. But I guess that's not your problem:)

Great to hear your sleeping has fixed. (How?!) I overslept today, so that means I had enough of sleep, no matter the following rush.

Well, take care Kouryuu and see ya.

You mean "every day is exactly the same?" Yes, it's been about three months I feel like that. And yes, I know how this can be depressing. When you're breaking your brain, trying to find out how to change it and trying not to see all the days you've already lost. Plus, I'm living alone in a flat, that makes it even worse. There are three most probable things that can happen to you when you live alone: 1. starting speaking to yourself 2. becoming a cleaning maniac in order to kill the time 3. going crazy At least I haven't went crazy so far:)

I've been also suffering from insomnia recently and I realized insomnia gives you a lot of time to think about things you hate to think about. Being really desperate, I went to my insomniac father and asked him for help.The only thing he advised was to pray. No surprise. Whatever I ask about, the answer is always the same. Pray. (Have I told you my father is a christian fanatic?)

Heh, now I have a better image of you in my head. Your avatar is well chosen then. Not like the mine. (No, I really don't have silver hair)

Well, hope you're as fine as possible and your days aren't exactly the same anymore.

Have a great time and see ya.

I almost started losing my hope. 2 months are quite a long pause, how have you been? I'm fine, surviving those gray not winter-not spring days as good as possible. Well, as the time passed by, I decided to "show myself" However, it's not such a great move when majority of my face is covered in hair. (I need to keep my secrets:))

And don't wanna know how I imagined you, since I subconsciously imagine faces of my AP friends via their avatars. Actually, there's nothing else I could use, you know. So...now you know how do you look in my eyes, hah.

Thanks for the words about my walls. It's been a while I heard them from you and it's really very nice to read them again.
Hope you're gonna be there, my friend.

Take care as well and soon.

B.

Seems you're out. Well, I'll miss ya. Hope you'll come back sometime. Take care.

Don't worry about that, I'm fine. Just I'm in a fever again, so that's how I'm enjoying my vacation.

And for the Christmas... Think all the Christmas spirit really missed me this time. Don't know how to explain the apathy. (sigh) However, the Christmas eve was fine. There were four of us, so it was peaceful and that's how I like it.

So, are you also enjoying your free time? Hope in a different way than meXD

Hello, thanks for the greetings. This Christmas was the lowest I've ever experienced, though. Any presents, um? .(n_n).

PS: Can't stop eating the damned sweets!

this happens every year, so don't be so surprised. next year will be the hottest possible character to appear on anime. then I will show you the true pain of pressing tits together.

Really? You like my personality? Heh, I'm glad. That's my excuse for being so weird sometimes. However, it makes things a bit complicated for me.(;_;) What about your personality, if I'm not too bold.

Well, that's also why I'm not so often here. I'm getting bored. (Great someone realized it too) I don't know why I don't like AP that much as I liked it before.
But wait, I have two walls in progress. Just some bugs and I'm gonna upload them on Sess Zero. So, may I ask for your help then?

I see you do celebrate Christmas. How do you like it? I mean the shopping, people, fronts and rush. I would imagine something a bit more peaceful, but it seems Christmas is everything but peaceful. And Santa Claus in every shop window really doesn't make me happy. At least I like being with my sis, bro and mum. In a village there is the main task where to steal a Christmas tree. (Just kidding XD)

Writing with you is also one of the reasons I'm here, my dear friend. It's not usual I like talking with someone so much.

So take care. Now I can excuse myself for being so long again by having a sanguine mood this morning.

Hello, Kouryuu. So, how are ya? Thanks for the congrats8)E To have a name-day most often means that you shake your own hand and go to buy some present for yourself, because everyone always forgets. As for the insomnia. There is one rule. The more you want, the more you can't. Strange, mu brother is an absolute opposite. You could scream right into his ear and he wouldn't wake up. (Believe me, I've tried it) However, I fell asleep in a bus today, collapsed across both the seats. Pathetic. Yes, another thing we share. Fortunately you seem to be out of this for now, I'm glad. Anyway, Christmas is coming here. What about you, do you celebrate it?

Hello, my friend.

Name-day? Um, that means every day from the 365 has its name. Every day has somebody a name-day. It's "smaller" than your birthday and usually you're given only some sweets or something. I guess it's not known in your country, is it? However, that's funny thing about my sleep. I've been an insomniac since twelve. Nothing is worse than staring at your ceiling for hours. Then, you feel like you're the only one up, you're angry and lonely and not happy. But I sleep well when I'm tired and that's right now. (x_x)

Well, as always. Take care and later.

Hello my friend, yes it's been a while. Of course I noticed you're gone, glad you're back. So, how are ya? Hope you're fine, at least you don't have many duties, um? I think I'm OK right now because I was sleeping quite long. That's always good. Heh, and I had my name-day yesterday|(C_C)|

Later.

Hello Kouryuu, so I've watched the first two episodes and yes, now I understand why it's so popular. It's great. Original, serious and funny at the same. (Ichigo kicking Rukia when she appears in his room. I really didn't expect that.) Also, I've looked at the manga and the drawing is fantastic. I think I have a new interest, heh. However, I'm not surprised with the fillers, Death Note was the same. I was pretty annoyed by L's death and all the horrid stuff that came after that, the animation quality also went down. Where do you watch it?

Anyway, I have some hard times now. I can's sleep at all. Even if I'm really tired. I don't know if you have ever experienced it, but it's terrible. I hate it. Every morning I feel more and more mummified, doing my best to keep the eyes open. Friends also noticed I'm white and they think I'm gonna pass out every minute, funny.

(u_u)# << This is how I look like.

So, sleep well and see ya soon. (I'm gonna go to try my bed.)

No, surprisingly I'm not. No wall in progress at all. And I feel a bit weird because of it. However, I have a new Bleach wall. Which reminds me I wanted to ask you if you like this anime. People are really crazy about Bleach and it's one of the most popular series here. Actually, I made the wall for my friend and I've never watched it before. So, are you a fan too?

No prob with the late comment. You have really nothing to be sorry for. Especially you.

Later.

So the last revision was uploaded.

You know, there was a title on the right part of his head, so that's why I added the mist. To cover it. Tell me if the hair is OK now. I was trying my best to do it well.

Well, I've been talking in the comment below.

Still raining? Yes, here's still snowing. I wish it rained. With every single day I wish it more and more.

Hello Kouryuu,

I'm glad you're having the kind of weather that makes you happy. You know, all the snow slowly melts away and uncovers the dirt and mess around. Well, that's maybe something I like about snow. It hides the gray, dark city I live in and makes it look clean.

I feel the same while it's raining here. When everyone is inside of the house, I'm walking along the river's bank, enjoying the falling rain. For the same reason you wrote. It just lets you think and believe everything is fine. It's somehow liberating. At least at the moment. Hope you'll not be sick, it's quite big price for a while of peace.

Anyway, I've uploaded the new revision. Actually, it's very close to the rain topic, heh. You can take a look here.

Well, be happy and see ya later.

have u ever believe in something that u know will never come true that u fought for it and now it pushes u away? i feel so lonely

Hello my friend.

Today there was so much of mist that I barely saw something. Don't know why is this weather every time I travel somewhere, making an icicle out of myself while sitting in the trembling thing someone calls bus. Maybe I'm just lucky.

Anyway, you know what I'm gonna say. Yes, thank you was that. Thanks for the comment, I've fixed it tonight. Very adventurous. When I was almost done, the screen suddenly turned black and everything disappeared. Of course I haven't saved it. Some horrible moments of staring followed, then a few attempts with keyboard causing agonizing nothing. Fortunately my PC gave it back after some time. Why is he doing this to me? Hey, I was really scared. I thought there is something burnt inside.

And Hojo? Um, not everyone looks like a bison hybridized with a horse while laughing. It was a good job from our Hojo. And if you compare him with his son, who's the insane here?

However, I'm gonna go. I really need sleep, at least this night.
See ya later.

Heyda Kouryuu,

I'm happy you've finished the hard work. And how are ya then? Satisfied and tired?

I asked about the spring mainly because I'm a spring lover. Spring in my country is not so rainy and cold, it's sunny and warm. I love the time snow melts away and the ground smells so delightfully. I can't describe the fragrance. But it's like awakening of the nature, hope you can imagine it. Autumn smells in the opposite way, I also like this season, though it makes me nostalgic. But that's just something autumn does.

Well, if you wanna see my new walls, I would be happy too. Think I'm obsessed with Final Fantasy again.This one is already submitted, hope you'll like it. Well, I was again very creative. (laugh) And here is the wall that needs your help. This time it's the guy we both like from AC. I'm planning to remove the swirls, but I would be grateful for some suggestion.

And in the end, I wanna share something absolutely crazy with you. I was browsing YouTube and found an incredible vid. Firstly I was just stunned, but then I couldn't stop laughing. You'll see. (_/)..
Sorry if it's too much insane for you:))

Click

See ya soon, my friend.

So then hello Kouryuu, (this time with a direct permission)

hope you're doing well. I'm better now, a bit. I was quite OK last week so I was going out, in the cold and snowing instead of being at home, beside my heater. Then I was just watching the numbers on my thermometer with widened eyes. I'm always the same.

Still autumn? Huh, I would love to have autumn, I so dislike winter. However, what is your winter like? I believe you've written it's raining and cold. It sounds weird to me, winter and no snow. Then how looks your spring? Raining again, but not so much of cold?

I watched the trailer, seems interesting. Yes, the girl is fantastic. So bad the vid wasn't in good quality, but still she was really looking more than well. I was wondering why the two titles for FF13, hope I'll know soon.

I'm somehow tired today, my vision is getting blurred despite my urgent blinking, so I'll rather quit that.

Hope I'll see ya soon and take care.

( T_T) i look just like this

(u_u)

not so good

Kouryuu, Kouryuu...wait... Oh yes, I do remember you! Was wondering if you're all right. I've almost seen you fainted in all the papers. And how am I? Huh, not so bad. But that's maybe caused by the pills I've taken. (Giving you a groggy smile)

You've finished FFVII? And how do you feel?

I know Squall, as the main protagonist of FFVIII. But that's all I know about that game. And yes, the opening was fantastic. I believe you've seen this already, but I love the trailer so much!

Finally I have Vista. Well, firstly I was excited, then not much when the PC was restarting itself with no reason all over again, then I was again excited when it stopped and now it depends on his behavior. For example I'm excited right now. It's beautiful. But I need a better RAM, you know.

Well, I'm gonna go now, to make a cup of tea and bring another paper tissue pack. Yep, still flu. It's my stupidity that I haven't stayed in my bed but was acting like nothing is happening.

Good luck Kouryuu, as always. Actually, may I call you Kouryuu? Think I like your name(9+_+)

Later

yeayhow r u?

(n_n)/

I have such a quick reply this time. Well, hope you're not still sitting in front of your screen but you're just sleeping in your bed while I'm writing this message. You now, when I read about the torture and burning eyes, I experienced the same some time ago, making an essay with the same length. I was actually in a pair with some one, but seemed I was the working one and she was the "nothing doing" one. (Oh, since that I hate Shakespeare so much! I wanted to give a different name to my cat I call Macbeth) Huh, I believe I've corrected the last message somehow, because I was again so goddamned long, but if you don't mind...Do you? No, I'm not usual so chatty, not here and not in the real world. You must have some special power (laughing) Well, you're invited into my little country, come any time you want..(n_n). It's one big place for lying on the grass with arms behind your head. I remember, this summer was something like "stars fall" And fortunately I was right at my old home. I was staring at the night sky for hours and really, the stars kept falling above my head. So many wishes I could have (I don't know if this is a common habit, to wish something when a star is falling, but we do that)

I also have a song in my journal, it's again something not so happy and cheerful, just like me. And I think I'll look for your song, pretty interesting.

I feel my morose mood has extended. Think it's connected with the flu I still have and it's getting better and better. So that means I look like hell and speak like Vin Diesel with nails in his throat. I'm afraid I almost forgot how to speak since now I'm just nodding with my head or waving in the way: "Yes, yes, just leave me alone"

I was right, I thought the happy one is Cloud. I've made his wall from nostalgia, he looked so different in the game, don't you think? And Kadaj? I loved that guy, he was really a piece of Seph. Oh, but Loz was...OK, he was not my favorite, definitely not. Also Marlene could be just in the prologue.

I must go now, some stuff needs me again.

Thanks for making me so chatty.

Pozdeji. (Do you know? That's how I say "later" in my language. How do you like it? Just a few languages are so strange and funny and so hard to learn as mine, since we have some letters even I have troubles to spell.)